Today we are leaving for Detroit to celebrate the marriage of Steve’s nephew, David, to his best friend, Kylie. I love attending weddings. Listening to the vows is like a renewal of my own vows.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have been married three times. It’s not something I’m proud of, and in fact, I feel a slight shame when the time comes for me to “admit” it to someone, as in a new friendship.

But if I am to be brave enough to write my memoir and consider publishing it one day, I must admit to all that has led me to this point in my life, as flawed as it might be. Our flaws are as much a part of our humanity as are our virtues. In fact, I venture to say our flaws are what connect us.

So, back to attending weddings and how they feel like a renewal of my own vows. As this wedding approached, I visited the “Wedding” folder on my computer and revisited saved photos from Steve’s and my wedding, as well as the vows we each wrote.

If you’d like to “attend” a virtual renewal of my vows, here is what I said to Steve as we stood at the altar of my father’s church in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Perhaps, after getting permission from Steve to post his vows to me, I’ll do so in a later post.

We wish every happiness to Kylie and David and they begin their lives together!

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The people in this room, they are people I love. They know and God knows . . . the path that led me to this day was sometimes rocky and filled with unexpected twists and turns that perhaps I should not have made. But that path, like so much in life, was filled with wabi sabi. Imperfect, yes. But the beauty is, that imperfect path led me to you. Paulo Coehlo once said:

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.

And I believe that is true.

So today, I am filled with contentment to take your hand and walk a new path beside you. No doubt, we, too will have challenges as we walk together—whether it’s money, health . . . or politics. But when that happens, I promise to remember what Rumi said:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.

Thank you for being open and honest with me from the very beginning, for one of the lessons I’ve learned from my past is that trust and respect are every bit as important as love. You’ve shared hard truths with me, and for that, I not only love you, but respect you.

I promise I will always be open and honest with you.

We’ve talked about our regrets that we have begun our history together so late in life, that we missed sharing a family, early successes and failures—all the things that have made each of us who we are today. But I don’t live in that regret. Instead, I am thankful that because we are so open with each other, because our families love and accept each of us, we share each other’s history, even if we were not a part of it as it happened. And I look forward to the history we’ll share from this moment.

I promise to focus on the present moments with you—to cherish our pasts, for the pasts that made us who we are today. And I look forward to our future, but I will not dwell in worry about it, for it is out of our hands.

Thank you for sharing your imperfections with me, for in doing so, I have seen the beauty of your authenticity, and you have given me the courage to be imperfect, too.

I promise not to expect perfection, but to appreciate the beauty in our imperfections.

Thank you for not only letting me be me, but encouraging me to be me. You have never asked me, whether directly or indirectly, to fit a mold of your expectations.

I promise to let you be you, and to realize, if there comes a time that our differences knock heads, it’s okay to agree to disagree.

Thank you for your laughter, your tears, your words, your art, your self-discipline, your understanding, your passion—all the things that make you the man I love.

I promise not to take any of you for granted, because I love you very much.